Free Shit Say OH YEAH

I love to eat. A long time ago I made the decision that I didn't care whether or not I could buy halter tops at Gap Kids. If being a size 2 means no nachos, and therefore being miserable, I'm not having it. I'll wear stretch jeans for life. But when you're broke it means you're on a forced diet. And it sucks hard.

This is why when shit like this comes in the mail, my jelly belly starts a soft-shoe Irish jig of joy. 

$50 bucks at an amazing breakfast joint for some tiny blurb I wrote like 15 minutes before it was due? GET IT!

Yeah, actual payment would've been nicer but whatever. I love me some eggs and bacon.

Heroes of the Modern Pauper

Seriously though. God bless Two Buck Chuck and every other $2 wine out there that's not totally shitty.

Without you, watching pirated movies on my laptop in bed would be not nearly as fun. You're my hero, Charles Shaw. You kiss away the pain.

People Who Feel Me

Ms. Norbury from Mean Girls, aka the best movie ever. She feels me.

- Has a job she loves but makes zero money at.
-Picks up shifts at a second job to make extra cash. Mine doesn't require wearing a stupid vest with dumb pieces of flare though, so I've got that.
-Broke from getting divorced.
-Is a pusher. She pushes people. But she doesn't push drugs to kids just because she's broke. A police search of her house proved it. She ain't that hoe from Weeds.
-Even though she's at a low point in life, at least she's not Lindsay Lohan.

Things Broke Ladies Love

Boot weather, because then we can hide fugly situations like this for months.

Cherry Paupin'

My first real post, and I got to use a kind of dirty but very apt word pun for the title. How exciting!

I guess the theme of this post based on the word pun used would be first times as a result of being poor.

This is the first time in my life I've ever needed to receive food stamps. Luckily, they are on a debit card nowadays and not on actual paper stamps so I can hide my poor person status when purchasing my Diet Coke and fancy cheeses that I can now afford. The future, right? This is what it looks like.

So apart from lovely weather, Disneyland, and majestic cliff-side ocean views, the Golden State also offers the advantage of government-funded grocery shopping for us brokies. They should put that in those Visit California commercials with Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's been weird using the card. It's awesome because now I can actually eat proper meals and not just sustain myself on granola bars, water, and a smile. (Yes, my mom feeds me delicious home-cooked meals, but without going deep into circumstances sometimes I have to go very many days without her mommy love.) It feels kind of shitty. Like I shouldn't be needing to use food stamps. But alas, it has made things a lot easier for me. I was sadly kind of giddy when I got my card in the mail. So giddy I started listing aloud all the food I would - and now could - buy. You'd think I was about to visit an eccentric's wondrous chocolate factory and not Fresh and Easy. I'm just happy to have my load lightened a bit.

What's Paupin'

Hello All (two of you reading this), I've been slacking on the blogging for quite some time now, struggling to find a topic that is important enough to me to write about on a semi-regular to very regular basis. During a late night of insomnia, the little voice inside my head - Beyonce - started speaking. "Hey, girl! You're poor. Why don't you write about that? Now go to sleep and enjoy some sweet dreams and/or beautiful nightmares." And so here we are. Being broke isn't important to me per se, but it's become a major part of my day-to-day life.

A bit of back story just in case anyone reading this doesn't know me and is reading this out of friendship obligation. I'm a writer. For quite a few years I was gainfully employed at a pop culture news wire, and it was fun. I had a cute studio apartment, a cat that loved me, the ability to buy new shoes every so often, and everything else a modest girl could want.Then the publication shut down because the economy went to shit. Goodbye steady paycheck and cute studio apartment; hello unemployment checks and room rental in a house with no insulation. Eventually, I even had to give up the cold, yet adorably decorated room for even lamer accommodations - my mom's house....in Mexico. Yup. I cross an international border to return my rental of Twilight: New Moon at a Redbox. More on that later.

Now jump to my current state. I am once again gainfully employed (part-time, but better than no-time) at a very awesome alt-weekly that I've always loved and wanted to work for since my college days and I freelance whenever possible. But my cat hates me for moving her around so much, I'm ass-deep in student loan debt, and still cross an international border to make questionable movie rental choices. I'm broke, but getting by with what I have and what I can somehow weasel, and trying to keep a positive perspective. I'm a modern girl adapting to a life of pauper-tude, and making the best of it. Maybe you can relate.

xoxo alex, the modern pauper